Taking Questions
>> Friday, December 12, 2008
I know many of you have questions about what it is like to have a family the size of ours ... The vasectomy post was just one of many I could write that is just so wrong, and yet so spectacularly funny that I could blog for hours on it .... so here is what I am proposing ... start asking questions and we will conduct this post like a question and answer session .... and if you think for a minute I want questions like "how do you have time to mow your lawn" or "do all the kids get quality time with you" you are sadly mistaken. BRING IT.
I am looking forward to some good clean obnoxious fun ... there will be no questions\comments (outside of too much cussing) that I will not let fly here .... you can not and will not offend me. I need some laughs today at my own expense ... so hit me with your best most creative shots ... and if you are lurking out there and have not come out of my blog closet yet ... I encourage you to do it now .... for those of you with big families as well .... please feel free to bring your own hideous experiences to this post as well.
Let the fun begin ... and oh yeah ... new poll question is on the right
43 Groupies:
With 9 Kids how do you find time to make more?
Even with 5 there is always someone all up in our bidness and never seem to have "grownup" alone time.
P.S. You have your hands full don't you?
Sorry couldn't resist.
Michael F,
Very good first question to start this off. Absolutely it is hard for my wife and I to get our groove on. We find it works best if you have a lock on your bedroom door. Thank you for asking.
The other option is under water because none of our children can breathe there and if you are ok with sea life in your bidness, then this is a totally logical location.
P.S. Absolutely are hands and plates are full "God Bless Us"
Hysterical. Bedroom door locks are a must for any couple with kids. I remember coming to the realization a couple years ago that that is what my parents were up to when they wouldn't let us in. Ughhh.
Anyways, my question is: What kind of routines/schedules are at the Rockstar home?
So, since you don't have a vasectomy, how long until another rockstar is born?
Burkulater,
First I want to say how sorry I am for you for the emotional scarring your parents locked door has done to you. I am sure there is a support group for you ... maybe a good shoulder to cry on would help.
As for routines, I start the morning by waking the kids up for breakfast with an air horn... too many kids to wake up individually. I feed them some slop, and then I leave for work.
I then come home from work, we eat dinner that Mrs. Rockstar has prepared, then to save money I take all the kids out back, hose them off and then tuck them into bed.
For all the other routine information, Mrs. Rockstar is the one to comment as I am a typical absentee parent, something Michael F has blogged about as well.
I do know that there are at least three loads of laundry every day and we sweep the house twice a day and mop every other if that is helpful
Salt Racer,
Great inappropriate question. I will consider bringing flowers home tonight, so in answer to that question, possibly 9 months ...
On second thought, we were told no baby producing for at least a year after a c-section so that pushes us out to 15 months from now.
I do however sit with my laptop squarely on my "turkey" as one of my kids refers to male parts ... so I may be killing too many swimmers to meet this stringent timeframe.
Inappropriate question .... Too Much Information Answer.
Love it ... let's keep it rollin'
2 questions: 1. How do you keep them all alive? Our kids are constantly getting hurt and it makes us doubt our ability to keep them alive. 2. Is anything sacred to you? For some it is the toilet, but my kids come crashing in, and even my wife does and I get no privacy. For others , they have a room or something, but not me.
Zombie,
Again great questions. This is going fantastic. #1, I am not sure if I have kept them all alive, there are so many it is hard to keep count. I have backup sensors on the passenger van ... and a little mirror where you can see directly below. There are also standard locks on doors and windows. Outside of that they are pretty much on their own.
#2 I have what we will refer to as performance anxiety. Not a fan of hangin' with others in the bathroom. I like to do my bidness solo. That being said, I have tripped and thrown a bucket of coyote like urine on myself, Mrs. Rockstar has slipped in dog shat and I think I once bribed a child to go away with a dollar.
Want privacy? Get out of my house.
PS ... Seems like you have a little bathroom performance anxiety as well, no?
Speaking of the door with a lock...I was listening to the radio a few years ago. The peeps were calling in to respond to the question, "What song do you like to play to get your groove on?" Lots of Luther Vandross, Endless Love, Let's Get it On, etc.
Then the host (Bob) said, "ok, now it is my turn. This is the song that gets me and my wife in the mood." And then you hear the theme song to Spongebob Square Pants...b/c the kids would be mesmerized and have no idea where mom and dad were for 30 minutes.
My question: How the heck do you handle Christmas? I mean, from the looks at the moms at the stores (I sit outside and send my teenagers in, or send Michael), they are throwing down $300 per kid minimum. $300 x 9 = OUCH!
No, they wait until the deed has been done and I am sitting there defenseless with me pants at me ankles.
Heather ... can I call you Red, because that is what they called me until sadly my hair went brown .... anywho Red,
Let's bait and tackle your issues one at a time. First, Spongebob might keep the kids in a daze, but I am all about Barry White ... however ... if I need to keep the kids occupied I find boo-bah to be affective for children of all ages ... Weirdest. Show. Ever.
As for Christmas we are ultra conservative ... we stretch it as far as we can ... $35 per ... what do they really need? A large extended family helps the kid forget what a cheap punk Santa is ... we get a couple group gifts that are larger (think Wii games) and then smaller stuff you would be shocked at how big Christmas looks at our house regardless
With so many kids how do you all go to the same place at the same time? I mean, considering you're a rockstar, I'm assuming that some sort of tour bus is involved, but I'm curious as to seating capacity and frequency of group visits to locales further away than the backyard.
do you really hose them off? that would be the funnest way ever to shower the kids. i can't believe i never thought of that.
so, about the vasectomy subject. having as many kids as you do what not, you seemingly don't agree with this type of controlled self mutilation, if you will. but what about the "rhythm" method, the "pull out" method, the "raincoat" method, the "bc pill" method, the "foamy junk" method, and the iud method? all forms of family planning. are these acceptable in the Rockstar's eyes?
another question...
how do you get the much needed date night? i mean, who just volunteers to watch NINE kiddies? i have a hard enough time getting a date night with only three.
on a side note... thank you Michael for asking the question that we all needed to know the answer to. i'm getting my bedroom lock tomorrow.
Do you ever stay in hotels? How do you split up?
Do you ever take advantage of "kids eat free on Monday's" at Denny's
Zomb ... not fair laddy... do they run up and punch you in the turkey?
Anyways sorry I left you all hanging ... I had some bidness to take care of .... where were we
Salt Racer,
Excellent reasoning skillz. We do indeed have a vehicle befitting a family of rock stars ... our tour bus has seating for 12, a big fat grill and spinny wheels .... We are always invited to high society events ... so we can be seen in public often. The kids know the drill. Behave or no ice cream.
As for church ... that is a whole different story. They have one of those computer check in systems and every week they ask me to verify birthdays ... and grades ... and most the time not in order of age. I am too stupid to ever get this right and end up looking like the idiot parent who doesn't know anything about their kids
K-Dogg,
Man you were thisclose to being censored ... no one wants to hear about the foamy junk method man ... keep that foamy junk to yourself.
I am not Catholic ... that being said, I am not a believer in most birth control methods. Especially those that cause spontaneous abortions which would mean ...
I am against IUDs
I am against BCPs
I am against MAPs
As for rhythm, see comment above on Barry White ...
K-Dogg #2,
Ah, another good question dogg. The answer to this question is very simple ... grandma. She lives less than 2 miles from us currently and upon occasion she has been known to watch the kids so the wifey and I can go hang out underwater if you know what I am sayin'. She is a brave, brave woman
With nearly two full basketball teams worth of kids what are your thoughts on education and socialization? Soccer? Guitar? Ballet?
Laura,
Welcome to the fray .... and by fray I am not talking about how to save a life or Isaac Slade.
Anyways ... we do not stay at hotels. We are against hotels. They do not meet our needs ... when we vacation, we rent a house .... believe it or not .... you can usually find homes for rent in "destination" areas with 5ish bedrooms for about 120-150 a night ... good luck finding that for a hotel for a party of 10 .... also renting a house means you do not have to always go out ... you can cook in .. with my crew ... we can drop a 40 on McD's anytime, anywhere
As for free kids ... most of those places are a rip because they only give you 1 or 2 kids per adult meal. Props to Logan's Roadhouse near us for having kids eat free Wednesday no matter how many kids we have.
On a sad but true note ... Logan's Roadhouse went out of business 2 years after we moved here
How do you remember their names?
When someone is in trouble and you want to yell at them how many name combinations do you go through before you get the right name?
What was the best name combination you blurted out?
I think I actually included the dog once... But at least I didn't try to teach it sign language like my wife!
You put Logans out of business!
Salt Racer,
My kids are not backwards drooling home schoolers ... we actually had six soccer games today and last weekend had two shows and two parades ... a result of 4 young ladies in twirling. As for socialization and education ... when you have a family this big ... there is no room for wall flowers ... having adopted children brings in different flavors to the family as well, so even at home, they are very well integrated with society.
All that being said am I against any particular form of education? Most certainly not!
Zombie ... Fact. We absolutely put them out of business. Who designs a business model where 8 out of 10 people who walk through the door are free?
Oh gee. Apparently, I need to monitor K-Dogg's comments before he sends them out!
Michael F ... I have gone through a lot of fantastic name combinations ... None really stand out, but all time favorites are when I am introducing people to my children for the first time and call them by the wrong name ... that is a bad feeling. I have done this more than once ... must be social anxiety of some kind.
I also have never lost anyone at a store .... unless you count those two times where I did ... but they never made it out door ... so I don't count them. Figured I would throw this out there under the "we have our hands full" category.
As for yelling ... the Rockstars would NEVER yell at a child ... we believe in reasoning with children, especially the youngest .. because that really works wonders ...
(Pick out the part of this comment that is a sarcastic lie)
Burkulater ..
It is OK ... his questions were in line with what I was looking for
You must be kindred spirits then...must be a guy thing.
One more: Do you do the whole dating your kids thing so they get quality time with just you? I'm already starting to feel guilty about not spending enough time with this one or that one.
I need the top secret method or something because we would LOVE to have a large family but God has only seen it fit for us to conceive two children and adopt one! Who knows maybe adoption will be in our future again! LOVE the post!
I have been following your blog for a long time and find it insightful (at times).
My questions, have you ever left one of your kids behind. Obviously not realizing as you have 9 kids to watch.
Also I liked your comment about the computerized check in at church. Has there ever been a time where you couldn't remember the info they required and they refused to release your kids to you?
I have a question...what's up with snow flakes on your blog?
I thought someone slipped LSD in my coffee this morning! I ran out of my office telling everyone to cleanse the doors of perception until I realized it was just a bloggy tripped out winter thing...Thanks man.
Burkulater,
Yes we do as much parent child dating as we can within budgetary means. Yesterday I took 3 little ladies Roller Skating ... total Rockstar Rockbottom Price: $12.50. People always ask us if the little ones get enough attention ... that is a joke in our house ... my youngest has 5 older sisters ... nuff said
Clark,
Most disturbing is you only find my blog insightful "at times". As I am pretty full of myself ... I am just going to assume you meant "at all times".
As for church checkin... I seriously mess it up somehow every week. My biggest struggle is that the check-in system gives two receipts regardless of whether I have one child or 20. When you pick them up, the want to take your receipt as proof which is all well and good except I need to make 4 pick ups at different age categories ... and with only two receipts it is sometimes hard to pick up the others when your receipts are all gone.
Because of this we rotate classes. Some of my children stay at church all week, and then we check them out the following week, leaving the "fresh ones" in their place.
Outside of two disney world scares and one trip to the pharmacy I never wish to speak of, I have never lost a child ... so if you are counting at home the answer is either never, or three times ... depending on the angle
Scooter,
I am so sorry to have put you in the position of wondering if you were tripping. This is a drug free blog rest assured
You are obviously a rockstar of a Dad. How do you find time to have an on-going personal relationship with Jesus that rocks as well?
Salt Racer,
Toughest question yet! That is the constant struggle with the big family, is how do you find the time to grow spiritually with all the excitement that surrounds our day to day living. We are not necessarily being invited to any life groups with this size family! It is not easy to find that time, but we do. We have to make the time and not get caught up in all the other things ... I am lucky I have some car time ... about two hours a day ... that is always helpful ...
One thing I always tell others who feel disconnected is get involved in your church any way you can. Mrs Rockstar and I ran our HS youth group a few years back (when we ONLY had 3 kids) and I always tell people that was one of my best periods of spiritual growth ... you would think it would be the other way around, us teaching, kids growing, but we learned just as much about our faith through the eyes of those kids as they did .... maybe even more. And everyone is afraid to work with HSers!
Rockstar my husband and I are think of adopting from Russia but the only thing holding us back is the cost. Seeing that you live on a rockstars salary how does the normal family afford it? We are saving and plan on adopting but any advice on a Russian adoption?
Thanks,
Mary from NJ
Go to this blog (hyperlink provided). This is my lovely lady's adoption blog. We know a lot of people adopting currently or ones that have adopted from many places ... leave a comment on one of the posts letting her know you need to ask her a couple adoption related questions and she would be more than happy to let you pick her brain.
The cost is steep in many ways for adoption. Financially, physically, emotionally there is a lot that goes into it. But the payoff is well worth the struggle :-) Contact her please. We had a GREAT agency that we worked with in Russia. We would recommend them to anyone if you do not have someone you are currently working with. (Don't worry, we do not get a finder fee or work for them in any way :-)
You are doing the right thing. Finding out how others have fared in their adoption quests is a very important first step!
How can you not feel personally responsible for the depletion of Earth's natural resources? Can't the state mandate a vasectomy or something? Why should I have to recycle bottles just so you can ride around in a 21 passenger bus getting a whopping 3.7 miles per gallon? Its all your fault...global warming...dying penguins...the cancellation of the TV show Swingers...thanks a lot man.
I am making a list of questions to ask your wife but had just one more for you. I have read a lot about adoption and it seems to say in many places that adopting kids out of birth order is not a good idea and wanted to know what your experience was.
Thanks,
Mary in NJ
Anonymous,
That is a lot to blame on one person. Kind of rough if you ask me. I need to find a way to incorporate your beautifully articulated feelings into a new post of some kind ... stay tuned
Mary,
Regarding birth order, I am not against or for distrupting birth order ... it is a matter of knowing the children in your home now and knowing what they can handle. We had 4 children when we adopted our first two. I had a two year old son and adopted a 6 year old boy ... The first adopted lady was between my first and second bios, who are also of the female persuasion.
It has worked for us. Disrupting the birth order was not only not a problem, but everyone is thriving. Not to say that it was not without it's challenges ... but it is working.
I think if I were giving advice, my advice would be this ... The oldest in the house should stay the oldest ... that worked in our family ... she was the one with the defined role of "leader" of the pack, to disrupt that would have stripped her of her title. Jumping first born in age is not something we thought was wise, but outside of that ... I do not think birth order is important.
There are some other considerations I would recommend privately ... email me at againstvasectomies@yahoo.com ... I know cool address!
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