Flippin' Al Gore

>> Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Al Gore has forced me out of my self imposed hibernation. Someone was commenting on this blog about what a fancy such and such he was ... completely overlooking the fact that this amazing man who created the internet also rang up a $29,000+ electric bill alone in 2006. I am sure he is not alone. All of these celebrity whining greenies living in their castles to themselves have to get a grip. They think it is me killing the ice cubes floating in the artic ... I have a 3,000 square foot house in a place that is deathly hot, and there is no energy other than electricity to choose from and it would take me almost 7 years to equal one year from our friend, tree hugger Gore. Dude's carbon footprint makes him look like sasquach compared to any normal human being.

Now you may ask what the heck does this have to do with my blog, it's contents, and it's readership? Honestly ... nothing ... I just got fired up .... oh yeah, this clip below also has nothing to do with anything, but we present it anyways


To My Dearest New Friends

>> Monday, February 4, 2008

Dear Barb and Adam,

It is so very nice to meet your acquaintance. I am always ecstatic when new buddies come on board the Rockstar train. I was particularly impressed by your comments left recently.

It is with sadness however that I politely decline your services. You seem like such nice people that I was visibly shaken when I had to delete your comments. I so badly wanted this to work out between us all. I must confess however that:

1. I do not have bumps on my unit
2. I do not need a brand new large baby maker
3. I do not need to know what "your" experts recommend.
4. I am comfortable doing what I do without "alternative medicines"
5. I am not sure I even know what a thump stick is.
6. I know all about green tea ... thank you!
7. Yes, it is a buyers market, sadly I am house poor
8. Forget rising gas prices ... make your own .. eat Kashi .. or a Fiber One bar
9. I am so happy that my dream kitchen is obtainable
10. Pyramid schemes work best in Egypt
11. Bill O'Reilly - Stop spamming me, please!
12. Lastly, be warned, I know how to get "Fast Track Lawsuit Funding"

To my public and my fans, I ask that you please submit your favorite spam taglines in the comments section of this post.


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