Father of the Year
>> Friday, November 21, 2008
Thank you to the thousands of you who almost but not quite voted on my Father of the Year poll (Upper Right Bliggity Bloggity Corner). Thanks more to the other 10 of you who actually did vote. The results, frankly, are stunning. I have no idea where to begin.
In this day and age of hype and propaganda, I totally am able to extrapolate this data from the 10 responders and thousands of onlookers and apply it to the country as a whole, like the people who say eating chocolate is good for your health. Some of you (20%) might say that this is a strech, others (10%) can not believe that you yourself are completely irrelevant, but most of you (70%) are money in the bank on this one people. I am now declaring myself Father of the United States. Thank you good citizens, your vote counts!
Some would say that honor belongs to George Washington, Ben Franklin, or some other dirty wigged individual from the 1700's, but frankly (maybe even benfrankly) a new age is dawning. One where those with slight of hand and even slighter brain can ascend to the pinnacle of this great nation, grab bullwinke by the horns and say, "Yes I am great", "Yes I am fabulously good looking", and "Yes Virginia, I am a narcissist!"
With this meteoric rise of fortune comes great responsibility, and thankfully I understand that. The weight of the world is on my shoulders. I will respond with greatness.
*Margin of error is 30.98% The Rockstar is actually a moron and incapable, among other things, of leading a horse to water
8 Groupies:
I was going to vote for you but the poll was closed by the time I got to it.
P to M ... would you be willing to accept the role of heading up the Dept of Health and Human Services for me?
That was a terrific inaugural speech.... I'm totally speechless... what can I say... I didn't vote at all. I - unlike many americans in the recent election of the prez - don't like to make uneducated decisions. So I'll see how you do this first year in office as Father of the Year....
Of course, my husband didn't run for FOTY against you.... so you had your work cut out for you ;)
I demand a recount!
I think I can speak for all 7 of us who voted for you by saying that we voted for change, we voted for you because you were charismatic we didn't want the same old policies of the last Father of the Year.
Plus we only voted you Father of the year which the very name implies only a year long term in office. So I have to say that I am appalled at this unilateral power grab you have taken by claiming the Father of our Nation!
This is not the change we voted for sir!
Please do what is right and admit you have over stepped your bounds and resign from Father of the Nation. You can still be great and fabulous. You can even still hang out with bullwinkle.
I knew this day would come when our nation would finally dawn a new era.
As the First Mother, I would like to make some requests...
Since you are now Father of the Nation you are on diaper duty 24/7 .
M to the F.... it is very simple. There was a power vacuum. I saw an opportunity, blinded you all with my smile, and while you were sleeping I stepped into the role destiny has carved out for me.
Change for the sake of change does not come without a price my friend.
Fantastic comment by the way ....
First Mother .... I will assign someone as head of the Department of Stankland Security. Someone not afraid to answer the call of "duty" (or dooty).
i sense some double meaning here.
anyway father, can you get me an ipod for Christmas? i don't think that is much to ask someone with the countries bankroll at his disposal.
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