Boys

>> Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I think I am going to blog about more kid related things going on in my life. Specifically as of today, boy related things. You know, I always tell people (when they are crazy enough to seek me of all people out on child rearing advice) the girls in your life are going to mentally drain you. They are going to take you to task and let you know when your opinion is not wanted or not correct. Boys on the other hand usually come mental headache free, but man do we have absolutely no common sense.

I was speaking to my ac repairman about this, and he mentioned that he jumped out his second floor window because there was snow covering the driveway below and he thought it would break his fall. My brother-in-law decided to take his two story leap from a beachhouse ... probably thought the sand would break his fall. My second floor jump came not intentionally, but rather because I thought I could climb a ladder balanced on one side only, with the footing nowhere close to level. I would have had better luck proping it against the side of a mountain. Stupid.

McWilliam (of nude swimming fame) had a bloody toe .... why? Because he wore flip flops instead of sneakers outside to play soccer ... not smart. Mikey? He taunted his sister in the car. How did that end up for him? I think she shot laser beams out of her eyes at him right before she dropped a right hook on him. Did I mention that his favorite to taunt happens to be the one with the big time temper? Not a wise choice.

Both McWilliam and Mikey have touched Man of War, paralyzing their hands for some time. One of them rubbed the juice from a poisonous toad in his eyes and went blind for over an hour. Good times.

When it comes to common sense however, no one can touch son #3 in my house. J-man I am positive is trying to set some record for cluelessness. He does it with such effortless ease, I find myself impressed at his inability to get over his mental mistakes instead chosing the path that leads to destruction, repeating mistakes over and over again. How many reminders does this boy need not to keep pushing all his food off the edge of his high chair. Why must he stick his fingers in light sockets over and over? Why does he drool just to irritate me? You can not jump off a bed to Daddy when both of his hands are full.

Boys are amazing creatures .... and for all my female readers out there ... I will let you in on a little hint ... I am realistic. You are the smarter sex. I am one dude not afraid to admit it. Although I am also one dude not afraid to cry at "The Notebook" or wear pink ... So I guess I am not much of a dude after all. I better go blow something up now to reclaim my manhood.

6 Groupies:

Anonymous September 24, 2008 at 12:17 PM  

I am so glad you are finally admitting what I have known my entire life.

StarfishMom September 25, 2008 at 7:27 AM  

BOTH of YOU are hysterical!!! Oh to be a fly on your wall. YOU ARE BLESSED!!!

AdoptaMama September 25, 2008 at 8:02 AM  

Amen, Sir. Brilliant post. Thanks for being man enough to share. ;)

Paul September 25, 2008 at 11:44 AM  

Alright, now that you've let the cat out, you may only blow something up if you do it in a logical, opposite sex way. That means;

1. Make a list of things you'd like to blow up and pick the most practical one.

2. Consult friends and neighbors to see if they have anything they'd like blown up or would like to simultaneously blow their stuff up with you.

3. Be sure to document the event in appropriate fashion.

4. Don't forget to cleanup and recycle the remains of your blow up party.

The RockStar September 25, 2008 at 12:01 PM  

Alright now I am laughing ... are we really planning to make a plan? That is fantastic! I have never done that before ...

I like the part that no matter what we blow up we stay eco friendly ... I grew up on a camp .. I am a little back woodsy already so this just feeds right in....

Also let's make sure we have a good cry over whatever we are blowing up too ... some man hugs ...

Boy my gears are turning now! (ps my gears run on wind power)

Leisa October 1, 2008 at 8:14 AM  

Hi Brian I loved this post on boys. We have a mutual friend over at Peters peapod blog. Anyway we have had our first boy , after many girls, I could appreciate your post.

Leisa

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