To My Dearest New Friends
>> Monday, February 4, 2008
Dear Barb and Adam,
It is so very nice to meet your acquaintance. I am always ecstatic when new buddies come on board the Rockstar train. I was particularly impressed by your comments left recently.
It is with sadness however that I politely decline your services. You seem like such nice people that I was visibly shaken when I had to delete your comments. I so badly wanted this to work out between us all. I must confess however that:
1. I do not have bumps on my unit
2. I do not need a brand new large baby maker
3. I do not need to know what "your" experts recommend.
4. I am comfortable doing what I do without "alternative medicines"
5. I am not sure I even know what a thump stick is.
6. I know all about green tea ... thank you!
7. Yes, it is a buyers market, sadly I am house poor
8. Forget rising gas prices ... make your own .. eat Kashi .. or a Fiber One bar
9. I am so happy that my dream kitchen is obtainable
10. Pyramid schemes work best in Egypt
11. Bill O'Reilly - Stop spamming me, please!
12. Lastly, be warned, I know how to get "Fast Track Lawsuit Funding"
To my public and my fans, I ask that you please submit your favorite spam taglines in the comments section of this post.
13 Groupies:
Pyramid schemes work best in Egypt. Too funny!
UMMM... this should be good....
HMMMM. My favorite of all time has to be ..... "Lemonte Shlong"
You know the one I am talking about honey.
OOPS. That was "Shlong Lemonte"
I just got a fantastic new one I need to share
"Say hello to your bong"
LOL. These are fantastic... love the new add, Brian. I'm on the look out now... will post when I something funny. However, these may be tough to top.
Ok. got one. "Your girl can't keep her hands off you."
I'm actually a crack addict so it would be contradiction to my beliefs to support the fraternal order of the police.
Was that over the top?
I just get so many calls to support them. If any Fraternal order of the police people are reading, I'm not really a crack addict. I just like ...
Wow ... checked my email today ... two new beauties
"Dallas Full-Size Shlong"
and my new personal favorite, simple yet elegant ...
"The Dance of Love"
198 Spam emails to go through in a 24 hrs timeframe...here are some good ones!
"Life is pleasure with antidepressants!"
"I gained just over 2 inches with Vpxl!" (Is that a stock pick?)
"Naked Brithey Spears" (EWE!)
"CanadianAddtoCartCanadian" (Are they selling Canadians?)
"Hidden in your pants is a A Hollywood Story that's incredibly huge..." (No comment)
"More Resumes to Search" (Oh wait, that's for work. Get out of my spam folder and back to inbox!)
Last but not least:
"Get BIG or die trying... here is the answer"
"Increase your Gurth"
It seems every other day or so I win somewhere around One million dollars from the UK Lottery Board. I have also won the New Zealand Lottery and the Zimbabwe one too. I am estimated to be worth over 10 billion now. My e-mail gets selected nearly everyday. It is AMAZING.
steffany - just remember my favorite Whitney Houston quote ...
"Crack is Whack"
To my one armed drummer .... good ones brutha ... I am going to have to post some band pictures soon
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