Urination - Not Cool !@*&

So today one of my fears was realized. My third youngest groupie has been potty training as of late. We have a small downstairs half bath where we have put his dopey little toilet. The best way to describe it is as follows: It is a little plastic thing with a round bowl in the middle that you take out of the potty after business time and proceed to dump into the real porcelain king right next to it. File this info away for later in the post.

My old boss in the greater northeast used to cover socks in coyote urine and hang them around the yard to keep deer out. Did it work? I have no idea ... but what I do know is coyote urine is awfully stanky. Slip and fall into one of those socks face first and you are going to be praying to Jesus that the rapture comes now so that buring urine smell will no longer plague you. The wind blew just right, you could kill people with coyote urine. Stuff was no joke!

Why do I bring this up? Because J-Dilly is a coyote. I swear it. For some unknown reason, ever since we adopted him ... he holds his pee for hours ... I am talking pizzizle at 6AM, pizzazle at 6PM and that is it. No matter how much he drinks. I am convinced that this bladder back up is turning his coyote urine ranky and stanky. So this morning, J-Man did his business and then came out all proud of himself for fulfilling his coyote destiny.

I then proceed a few minutes later into the same bathroom for a business meeting of my own. I got skivies to about half mast when I realized that I had forgotten to pull the center thingy out of the little toilet and file the boy's business into the big boy toilet. Not wanting to smell urine during my whole business meeting, I decided that I should dump and flush first before opening the meeting.

So I picked up the little circle thing from J-Man's pot of coyote love and went to dump it in the big boy pot, but tripped over my half mast skivies, dropped the pot which bounced off the back of the toilet, then the sink next to the toilet, then the toilet seat, and finally coming to rest on the floor. During each bounce, I was gently sprayed with the aroma of coyote urine. Images of walking through Macy's while people spray stuff at and on me began to fill my head as I basked in coyote urine.

I cleaned up J-Dilly's business, conducted my own business, and now can not wait for dusk to fall so I can go run through the jungle that is the deep south (there is no forest) and scare the jeepers out of all the deer I meet.