Christmas Chaos

Well Christmas is around the corner ... Unbelievable. Can we wait until December people? Anyways ... this is the first of my many contributions to the Christmas spirit. I can't say that these are all original ... most are not, but just in case you want to add a little extra sizzle to the holiday ... here are some sure fire ways to drive your spouse/significant other insane ....

1. Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to
bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor.

2. Go to the mall with your spouse/significant other and sit on Santa's lap.
Refuse to get off. Start crying ... Confess all.

3. Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you're wearing it.

4. Sit in a corner in the fetal position rocking back and forth chanting,
"Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town..."

5. Chase your spouse/significant other around the room with misletoe ... sing Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me" at the top of your lungs.

6. Climb a ladder, outstretch your arms, jump towards the tree, scream "I'm the king of the world".

7. Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how
you never get to join in on the reindeer games.

8. Weep/sob uncontrollably, scream out "I saw you kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night, don't even try to deny it!!" This works even better if you scream it at your husband/boyfriend.

9. Wrap yourself in Christmas lights and roll around in the snow. Sing "I feel Pretty" from West Side Story at the top of your lungs.

10. Give your Spouse/Significant Other the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas
song.

11. Build a snow person with your roommate and place a hat on its head.
When it doesn't come to life, cry hysterically: "It didn't work!"

12. Get a satchel full of coal, drive with your spouse to the hospital. Declare that even sick people can be naughty. When they plead with you not to hand out coal at a hoptial, yell "Bah Humbug!" and tell him/her "that Tiny Tim is going to get his."

13. Wake up every morning screaming, "Ghost of Christmas Future, please
have mercy on my soul!"

14. Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your roommate's or
Spouse's friends, "Give it a yank."

15. Ring jingle bells maniacally saying "every time a bell rings an angel
gets his wings."

16. Stand in front of the mirror in your underwear reciting, "How the
Grinch Stole Christmas" over and over.

17. Smoke mistletoe. Do what comes naturally.

18. Watch your roommate/Spouse when s/he is sleeping. When s/he wakes up,
sing, "He sees you when you're sleeping..."

19. Steal a life size nativity scene and display it in your room. When
your roommate asks, tell him/her, "I had to let them stay here, there's no
room at the inn."

20. Take some miniature marshmallows and put them in a little baggie.
Attach a note to the bag that has a picture of a snow man and this poem:
'You have been naughty, and here's the scoop: All you get is the snowman's
poop!' Or you could have a picture of a reindeer with cocoa puffs for
reindeer poop for your roommate/Spouse.

21. Lastly ... Put Alvin and The Chipmunk Christmas music on your blog and play it over and over and over :-)