Public Service Announcement

Groupies, I have come to the point in life where I realize that I am not as young as I once thought I was. As a result, I have decided that I must be much more conscious of the world around me and instead of the usual rockstar take, take, take ... I am going to give back. Join in public awareness drives ... give you .. the people... annoucements that are important to your safety, health and general well being ... so from now on, there will be public service announcement on this site. It is time to grow up people. I no longer can just act like a third grader and expect to get away with it ...

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Racial Divide

Obviously race is a huge subject. Racial inequalities is a debate that has raged for some time. I have never chosen this heavy topic to cover, seeing as how I am a rock star and I do not wish to offend any of fan base. In fact, this is such a tough subject to talk about, I really do not have the words to do it justice.

However, I have just found someone else who deals with this issue poetically through video on his blog and instead of stealing his material, suggest you check it out. If there are not life lessons to be learned from his post, than there really are no lessons to be learned in life.

Be Good, Rock On

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Bender

Hey Groupies ... sorry it has been so long. I wish I could tell you I have been seeing the world or that I was working with doctors without borders somewhere ... you know ... without borders.

But here is the sad truth. I have been on a bad bender that just won't stop. My mind is all cloudy, my heart is racing... I can not stay away from this stuff. Every time I feel like I am going to break away, you know, take back my life, I get sucked back in by it's goodness...

What is it you ask? What is the elixir that can keep a rough and tumble dude like me down?

Halloween Candy ... I have 7 kids, I can eat two pieces a day without them noticing ... I ... can ... not ... stop .... and the sugar is out of hand!!!!!

So anyway ... I started thinking about the top 10 things I have stolen from my children this Halloween season and they are .... drum roll please ....

10. Double Bubble baby
9. Skittles ... Original Flavor Red Bag
8. Hershey's Special Dark mini- bar (3 or 4 of 'em)
7. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
6. Snickers
5. Mary Jane's
4. Pop Rocks
3. Tootsie Rolls
2. Bit O' Honey
1. M&M's

I love God, I love my wife, I love my family ... outside of that .. has anyone tried the purple bag dark chocolate M&M's? Ridiculous ....

Why don't you give me a holla and let me know what candy of your children/ brothers/ sister/significant others you feel the need to eat. I know I am not alone in this dreaded disease. There are others like me ... I know it!!!

Pop Rock On!

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I Wanna Be Rich - iPoo Revisited

Alright Groupies,

It has been a week, and it is now time to unveil the second song that may or may not be on my iPoo (sic). We started out last week with Kumbaya ... and now we move on to another all-time classic.

Now I am sure there are other reasons to love 1990 ... what with South Africa freeing Nelson Mandela, Iraqi troops invading Kuwait ... beginning Gulf War - Part 1, East & West Germany smushed back together, Milli Vanilli, Simpsons, Seinfeld, Yada Yada, Yada...

But I truly can not think of any way we were more blessed as a people that year, than by the melodic nectar "I Wanna Be Rich" by those "it" guys ... Calloway. I know that you all could see right through the whole Mikhail Gorbachev winning the Nobel Peace Prize ... I mean seriously who didn't have Calloway on the tip of their tongue?

Let me share with you some of the deep lyrics of this song ... you may wish to take a seat ... Chorus: I want money lots and lots of money I want the pie in the sky I want money lots and lots of money So don't be asking me why I wanna be rich oh I wanna be rich I wanna be rich oh I wanna be rich For a little love peace and happiness. I want my cake wanna eat it too I want the stars and the silver moon I spend my money of lottery My favourite number is 1 2 3.

I used to think that money was the root of all evil. Recently I heard someone say that actually money is one of those rare things that is neither good nor bad. It is indifferent. It is not the money that is good/evil, it is way people use/misuse it. Money in and of itself does not choose sides.

From a biblical perspective I could not find any "money is evil" verses just screaming off the page at me. Instead what I found was a lot of buyer beware ...

Mat 6:19-21 Do not save riches for yourselves here on earth, where moths and rust destroy, and robbers break in and steal. Instead, save riches for yourselves in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and robbers cannot break in and steal. For your heart will always be where your riches are.

Heb 13:5 Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have.

Prov 23:4-5 Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint. Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle.

The list just goes on and on and on... money is not evil ... but the love of money is, striving for money is, losing your family over money is, yada, yada, yada. When I reflect personally on what I have and what God has blessed me with, I never really stop to consider greenbacks a blessing.

I thank God for the family he has blessed me with, the ability to provide, that our daily bread is covered ... Prov 30:8-9 ...Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, "Who is the Lord?" Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.

Becasue my "One Word" requires cash money, I find myself not worrying about what I can get in material things, but how can I obtain enough to rescue another child off the discard pile? How can I reach out with what I have and make a difference? How can I best use the talents that have been entrusted to me by God? And most importantly, how do I keep my balance, so as Proverbs says I do not become so comfortable in my life that I stop relying on God and His Wisdom and His Power? I also do not want to become so desperate for money that I would ever do anything sneaky or shady to obtain it.

Where are your riches? Is your heart where your riches are (Matt 6)? Money can not bring you love, peace, or happieness ... it is neutral.

Calloway can keep striving for the green, all I want is to better serve the red and yellow, black and white.

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One Word

There are many different ways to let your inner rockstar shine. We all have passions, we all have things we are really good, or not so good at.

I started thinking "Rockstar" is a statement. It says sooo many things in one word. For example, in my case it sums up handsome, charming, witty, loveable, pretty hair, and narcissist all in one.

What is the one word that best sums up your passion in life? If there is one word that best describes what you live for and will ultimately most likely die loving, what would that word be? I will even let you use a hyphen (ex ping-pong) so that you can use two words and make them one .... so what is it?

Sports?

Photography?

Knitting?

Hot-Women?

Child-Rearing?

Proctologist?

Vidanjor? (Romanian)

I was presented with this exact one word question in church tonight... Besides being a gorgeous-maned Rockstar, you may be shocked to know that there are other things I value much more in this world than my sweet occupation.

There is one injustice above all others in this world that I can not stand. There is one passion, that when followed to the ends of the earth will eventually force me to give up everything that I want in life .. to make their life better. I feel like I hear God's still small voice now and again, but once in my life His voice commanded me to watch over the least of these, and it was so overwhelmingly clear and consuming that I was changed to my core in a moment. The funny thing is, as I thought of this word tonight in church, my smokin' hot babe wife scribbled her word on a piece of paper and slid it in front of me. Funny ... it was the same word.

Orphan

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The "IT" Factor

It really doesn't take that much to be a rockstar. In fact, I would say one doesn't even need to know how to play an instrument in order to achieve rockstar status. It does, however, take a person of certain mental makeup. A man or woman with swagger, maybe a little high on themselves, and the ever impossible, hard to explain "IT" factor.


I have been thinking about what has made me so vastly popular among my peers, and have determined that my "IT" factor is off the hizzle. As I pondered who else might have this incredible gift of "IT" I was led to a certain individual. It is way to hard for me to describle the sleek stylings of said person, so the best thing I could do is give you a visual example of what the smack I am talkin' about .....


This person may not act like a rockstar, this person may not sing like a rock star, but by golly, one look at this individual and it is impossible to say she does not have "IT"

Ladies and gentlemen .. this is a statement. It says look at me, this is how I roll.

Roll on sister, roll on

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Bring The Noise

Alright .. time for the latest, greatest debate to begin ... I need some of my groupies to come through on this one ... obviously no one actually wants to hear my original music on my blog, because not only is the world definitely not ready for that, it would be a little egotistical of me ... don't you think?

I need as many good, clean, fun rock anthems as possible for my playlist. I have a couple goodies on there, but not nearly enough Aerosmith, not one AC/DC song (I couldn't do it), and please NO ONE bring up Bohemian Rhapsody ... I can not stand that song.

I know ... controvery already, but that song drives me crazy ... it meanders on and on for no reason what so ever .... by the time it is half way through, I am already thinking of other things ... like what is for dinner .... how cool I am .... bumps on my unit ... etc.

I will throw one more out there, which in most of my groupies eyes, will make me seem like a drooling poodle (whatever that means) .... no Beatles .... great musical "influence" ... lousy actual band. Hey Jude ... go suck swamp water somewhere else. I have know idea why I could care less, but I do .... its a flaw.

Other than that, bring it groupies ... I am wide open to suggestions ..... get your friends involved ... whatever you do, don't go soft on me groupies ... let's get a playlist going that we all can not live without....

Rock On

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Bumps On My Unit

Alright Groupies ...

I have to tell you, I have a lot of soul searching I apparently have to do. I thought I was hip, I thought I was cool ... but apparently all I really have is bumps on my unit. See, I have some "suggested reading material" that run on the side of this blog, right? They are supposed to read my inner soul, you know ... know me without really knowing me. They take this mysterious knowledge of who I am and then give you, my adoring public, "suggested reading material" that supposedly is a custom fit for you.

I don't know what to tell you... I know I have not expressed much in these pages due to rehearsal conflicts and the mere fact that I am a slacker rocker, but all day this site, where I wear my soul on my sleeve, where I pour my insides out in print, has been asking you to "click here" if you have bumps on your unit.

I have to be honest with you ... I may live the Rockstar lifestyle, but there are certain parts of that lifestyle I definitely try to avoid ... like bumps on my unit .... but hey, if that is what "They" think my fans need to see, then so be it. They obviously know us better than we know ourselves.

It's a bumpy road out there

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Kumbaya, My Lord, Kumbaya

Funny thing ... being a rock star. You know, just the other day, I was asked to give the top 10 songs on my iPod. It got me to thinking, if I actually owned an iPoo or some variation of one, and if the public is really dying to know what is on, or not on my iPoo, by golly I might as well give the public what it wants. The first song that came to my mind was Kumbaya.

If you are a Christian, or one step further, a Christian who has been to any kind of Christian camp, especially summer camp, you would know right away that this song isn't only an instant classic, and on my iPoo, but surely when it comes to ranking our work here on earth, God must rank this one up there with Amazing Grace, Old Rugged Cross, and other all time inspired greats, right?

This is where I start to struggle. See, secretly (not secret anymore) I don't know what God makes of Kumbaya. In theory the song is fan-tastic. Especially when sung in rounds. With lighters in the air ... and you have to have a headband on ... and John Lennon looking glasses .... you need to make a "V" with your fingers if anyone with a camera trys to snap a pic. That is what I think of Kumbaya. Unfortunately I don't really asscociate it with "Come by here" my Lord, but more with the peace, love and harmony movement of the 70's. Give peace a chance ... can't we a'll just get along, etc.

Someone is Laughing Lord ..... Kumbaya
Someone is Praying Lord ... Kumbaya
Someone is Crying Lord ... Kumbaya

Is it really about being comfortable? Being at peace? Fishing with dad on a saturday afternoon? What about ...

This diarrhea is tearing the arse out of me .... Kumbaya
My tax bill just came in, Lord ... Kumbaya

Or how about those around the world, not in our cozy pampered life?

My husband was just hacked to death in front of my eyes Lord ... Kumbaya
My hut was burnt to the ground Lord .... Kumbaya
Now I can not feed my children, they cry out in pain Lord ... Kumbaya.

Not so peaceful now, is it? See the problem with Americana is that we have confused the peace that passes all understanding with peace at all costs. We are afraid to say anything hurtful, scared to rock the boat, we don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. We just want to live our lives, hoping not to offend, and not to be offended. White picket fence, smokin' hot wife (I do have this by the way), 2 wonderful children, maybe a dog or a cat (your choice), Ford or Chevy in the garage (again I am not touching that arguement tonight).

When, through David his servant, God took down a giant (1 Samuel 17), was he singing Kumbaya?

When, through Moses his servant, God sent 10 plagues upon Egypt (Exodus 7-11), was he singing Kumbaya?

Au Contraire you say. That is old testament. Jesus is all about the peace. Well that brings me to the red letters of Matthew 10:34. Jesus says "Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword." Don't forget when he got a little crazy (righteously crazy of course) and flipped over the money changer tables in front of the temple (Matthew 21:12-17)

See, being a Christian is not about sitting around on your tuckus trying to make as many MySpace friends, and as few enemies, as possible. We all see the starving Ethiopians on TV ... what are we doing about it? Poverty in our hemisphere in the form of Haiti ... who has been there? We see how ravaged and gruesome the war is for the citizens of Iraq. Forget about where you or I stand on the war, this is not about elephants and donkeys, there are children and families calling out. Are we doing more than muttering "Poor Things" under our breath?

I am JUST as guilty here ... believe me. Some feel that just to know who God is is enough, believing that Christ died for my sins is my ticket, now can I go back to me now? OUR world may be at peace, but is the WHOLE world at peace?

Personally, I am sick of people telling me how to live my life. You have a problem with me adopting every child I can? You have a problem with world overpopulation? You have a problem with my family living paycheck to paycheck? Don't bother me with your whinning. Take it up with God because HE is the conductor of our orchestra, HE has set straight our path, HE knows whether there will be more children in my family than hairs on my head ... joking, but you get the point.

Stop living for yourself and judging others. What kind of life is that? Pick up the sword of our Lord, Jesus Christ. It may not be easy. You may be mocked, you may be scoffed at. Trust me ... people may think you are a little off your rocker (unless like me, you are a rocker)... but then again, when is life ever entirely peaceful?

Kumbaya indeed.

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A Typical Day at Crazytown

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I know you have missed me

It has been way too long since I have ventured out to Blog Land. I apologize. Being a Rock Star is sometimes a thankless and never ending Job. I promise, I will be more faithful to the 'ol blog from now on.

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Am I Missing Something?

Hey Man,

I might be a few clowns short of a circus myself, what with living the rockstar lifestyle, but are we really going to leave saving the world to these two?

Thank you Worth1000.com for these classics. Sorry Bono. I know you and I are cut from the same rocker stone, but I could not resist. I am still trying to figure out if those are green flame boogers shooting out of your nose .... sweet.

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Dare to be different

Do you ever wish you were someone else? Ever wish you had a secret identity? As a rock star I obviously get no peace. I got to daydreaming ... what if I were invisible? What if I could shoot laser beams with my nostrils?... then it came to me ... I want to be this guy .....

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It is Not Easy Being Cheesy

Whew. It is not easy being a living legend like myself. Sure, you normal people probably think that my life is the shizzle to the nizzle if you know what I minizzle. You guys have NO IDEA how hard it is. I mean come on ... do you really think I have it easy?

Since the awards show, my life has been totally chaotical. My agent is calling me all hours, like 9 AM ... brutal. You want a real example of how tough it is to be me?

Just the other day I was in the middle of a mani-pedi when all of the sudden the hair on my neck stands up ... you know ... when you get that feeling that you are being watched/followed?

I totally expect to see some girdy groupies staring at me through the day spa window ... but instead it is this odd man with a mustache. I totally freak and have to run all the way out to my rental stretch H2, screaming like a school girl, running out the door with just my robe and a bunch of cotton between my toes ... you normal people try that. What possesses pasty white men in Hawaiian shirts to grow mustaches anyways?

Back to the story ... I dive/jump into the strech, yell at Hans to step on it, and make it back home just as my chef is making dinner. Seriously, life is tough. No sooner than I get into the foyer and the crazy mustachioed bandit is knocking on my door, demanding I meet with him. At this point I am seriously spooked. I am sucking my thumb, rocking in a corner ... still in my robe ... the tears are flowing, I think my life is about to end... then my cat like reflexes and ninja like skillz set in. I grab an umbrella next to the door, step outside and beat that crazy man senseless.

At the police station, I finally find out apparently it was all a misunderstanding, and really the only thing that really was happening was Weird Al just wanted to spoof my cult fav "I'm Just a Back Yard Guy with No 4 Wheel Drive". What does that guy have a mustache for anyways .... does he not know how creepy he looks??!?

So just as I think this couldn't get any worse comes news from my president/manager that within the hour, Smoking Gun plans on having my mug shot as well as a picture of me running down the road crying in nothing but a bath robe and a tan. Perfect.

You can all get back to your easy lives now. Don't worry ... please go to sleep. Don't fear for tomorrow. Say a prayer for me. I will be OK, I am strong, I will pull through ... but please ... do NOT tell me how easy this life is. We all have burdens.

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