Swimming In The Nude

I have decided that politics, like a stinky shoe, will start to make my blog smell if I do not discuss other items. So I would like to discuss the genius that is my boy, McWilliam. McWilliam definitely comes from the deep end of the Rockstar gene pool. He is everything I hope he can be and more. He is the ying to my yang, the poop to my joke, the wind beneath my wings.

I am particularly proud that recently my son decided to get a little more serious about his faith. He decided to fast. Now I could tell you that he decided to do this in order to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal his true spiritual condition, or that he was excited about transforming his prayer life into a more personal experience or that he wanted to gain a deeper understanding and experience a closeness with God like he has never experienced.

The fact of the matter is this. McWilliam declared that he would be fasting because his older sister Rosie was. Now Rosie was fasting for all of the right reasons and actually happened to be fasting something close to my heart (so close it is clogging it), CANDY. Rose was so diligent that 15 days in and she had not broken her fast in the slightest.

Sitting around the dining room table McWilliam became emboldened. Wanting to make a splash, and understanding that giving up candy would be to painful, he decided to boldly go where no faster has gone before him. He decided once and for all that there was something he was willing to give up to further humanity and I quote "The next time we go to the pool or go swimming somewhere, I am going to fast my bathing suit".

I tried to explain to him that showing up at the community pool buck naked was probably not the best of ideas but that I admired his gusto. I tried to explain that a more sensible choice might be to go "smokeless" as we like to call it at church for a month or maybe moon the neighbors every night at 7:30 ... you know something a little less dramatic than showing up at the community pool, announcing to all that you are a follower of Jesus Christ and then dropping your swim pants.

My Son. My Hero.

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Somethings Need Not Be Said

Every once in a while a picture is worth a thousand words. What 1,000 words come to mind actually depends on what your personal beliefs and positions are, but man is the fact that this even out there is ridiculous ... that in fact is my first of 1,000 words ... "ridiculous".... the next nine words are "my childhood he-man action figure has the same legs".

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Equal Opportunity

Wow ... all that live bloggin' was affecting my noggin' last night. I can barely keep up with it all. After blogging live about the right, I noticed that the left has some issues too. Seems like everybody views Obama in one of three ways.

I am a rockstar, not a political commentator, so I will leave you to decide which of these three choices best represents your feelings. I stole all these pictures from I don't even know where, so I can not take credit, but I sure wish I could. Without any more commentary ... here are your choices

Option A



Option B



Option C



Personally ... and I know you care what I think ... I am the envy of millions, when I think democrat ... the following image is what pops into my mind:

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LIVE! From the Republican Convention

I am sitting here next to Katie Couric exchanging recipies and listening partially to what is going on at the republican convention. I am going to blog live for you ...


9 something: Rudy says Obama is stinky and inept
9 almost 10 something: Rudy still calling Obama names
10 something: Sarah calls Obama a ninny
11:03 Sarah says something about Obama stinking, Katie shares deviled egg recipe
11:05 Sarah mentions fear, pain, squalor
11:06ish McCain is honorable, wise ... God and evil mentioned ... separately of course
11:08 Sarah releases the Republican clowns from the special vehicle. WOW ... at least 20 clowns pile out of a yugo
11:10 McCain restores order ... video pan of weird woman dressed in elephant garb
11:12 Liberal media begins weeping, gnashing teeth
11:14 Terrified and exhausted ... I am feeling the need to go to bed. This live blogging stuff is tough ... especially those 3 entries between 9 and 11 ... my hand is cramping

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Seriously

I mean .. to be honest I can see the humor in a lot of things ... but seriously ... any of you been out to the hurricane center lately? This is ridiculous. As a super hip rockstar I do not want to give out my top secret location ... but let's just say I am in the hurricane beltway. Why do I live here again?

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Kids ROCK too

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Homeschool Homies

Who knew homeschooling was so hard core??

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Hops

It is not easy being a Rockstar. I mean it might look glamourous to you from the outside, but let me assure you, the phrase "the grass is always greener" rings true in my business. Sure it LOOKS like I am having fun, willy-nilly, on top of the world, but have you ever thought of the injustices I have to suffer through? You may be shaking your head, maybe even thinking out loud something like "What injustices?" I am here to tell you it is a miracle I have as many children as I do having to spend so much time in tight leather pants.

You know what else is hard? Finding a ride that matches my personality. I finally found one, but Mrs. Rockstar so rationally explained that it would be hard to find the right kind of carseat for this one. {Sigh} Back to the drawing board, it is not easy being me.

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New Wok on the Block (NWOTB)

Here I am ... ready to deliver content to the masses. Giving you something to "chew" on whenever inspiration strikes.

So the little lady and I were eating some chinese food the other night. In our old hood, we had some smokin' chinese joints. Since moving away from the old stomping grounds two, going on three, years ago we have struggled to find a place that lived up to our chinese food snobery. (We also have sub issues, but that is for a later time)

Tonight ... we found the place. It is close, it is good, and we were thoroughly enjoying our meal .... at least up until the point where I cracked open my fortune cookie ....

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Laying a Stinker

Remember when your favorite band laid an egg? You know what I am talking about, after years of success and glory, they release that what the heck are you thinking album (think U2 Zooropa)?

Well this blogizzle has laid a stinkhizzle as of late. Do to my enormous popularity, I have had little time to muse about much of anything on this 'ole blogity blog. No more. Today it all changes.

If all two of my readers want me to get more personal, peel back the layers of my onion (as Shrek would say), then that is what you are going to get.... one big stinky onion.

Stay tuned for more immature programming

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Flaming Cannonball

I found this news article on CNN and it got me thinking deeply about how I wish my body to exit this world. Please read the article for insight and I will give my "Rockstar Corner" thoughts afterwards:




CINCINNATI, Ohio (AP) -- The man who designed the Pringles potato chip packaging system was so proud of his accomplishment that a portion of his ashes has been buried in one of the iconic cans.

Fredric J. Baur, of Cincinnati, died May 4 at Vitas Hospice in Cincinnati, his family said. He was 89.

Baur's children said they honored his request to bury him in one of the cans by placing part of his cremated remains in a Pringles container in his grave in suburban Springfield Township.

The rest of his remains were placed in an urn buried along with the can, with some placed in another urn and given to a grandson, said Baur's daughter, Linda Baur of Diamondhead, Mississippi.

Baur requested the burial arrangement because he was proud of his design of the Pringles container, a son, Lawrence Baur of Stevensville, Michigan, said Monday.
Baur was an organic chemist and food storage technician who specialized in research and development and quality control for Cincinnati-based Procter & Gamble Co.
Baur filed for a patent for the tubular Pringles container and for the method of packaging the curved, stacked chips in the container in 1966, and it was granted in 1970, P&G archivist Ed Rider said.

Baur retired from P&G in the early 1980s.


Rockstar's Corner:

In thinking long and hard about this gentleman's disposal in a greasy potato chip can, it made me realize that because I am not an inventor, and have actually never created anything of use that this world will value beyond my passing, that all I have really is theatrics to fall back on ... so please note that this post supersedes any ideas I have on my disposal in the past. Recently, I have had a hankerin' to jump out of a plane at high altitudes, free fall a couple thousand feet and pray that unlike the cartoons, my parachute actually contains a parachute and not pots and pans.

However, because I have 8 soon to be 9 maybe 10 children, the Mrs. has pointed out to me that this would be a stupid way to treat my life. I have decided that indeed, this would be better done upon my demise. So here is what I propose....

Upon my death hopefully many, many, many moons from now, I would like to have my body tucked into the fetal position and soaked in gasoline. I would then like to have a plane carry me up over my beloved ocean and drop me out with a time released fuse. This would allow me to achieve a rapidly accelerating human flaming cannonball, one that would astound beachgoers and UFO theorists alike.

Someone .... please .... help .... me ...

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Stress Relief

Dancing is always the best way to relieve unwanted stress. Check this guy out. Can't you just see the stress leaving him with every fantastic move? This is all the new craze. I am learning this dance now.

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Thank Goodness

I have not posted for a long time. I am sure I owe an explanation, but right now all I am thinking about is how America finally nailed it. I not only am admitting to watching parts of the finale, I am also admitting to throwing my hands in the air and letting out a woo-hoo. Rock On.

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My Time Has Come

Well after reading THIS post, and then reading THIS post, I was starting to think that the whole world had gone absolutely mad ... I mean Milli Vanilli? NKOTB? Are you joking me? This is what we have to get excited about as a society? And then it happened. Today is a glorious day for rockstars everywhere. The one I have been waiting for has occured ladies and gentlemen, the unthinkable has happened, because according to THIS SPECTACTULAR ARTICLE, STP is back baby .....

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